Ordinary greatness & remembering Grandpa

An all-day all-night headache, plus having to get up for work at 4:30am doesn't leave a lot of time for sleeping...but it leaves lots of time for thinking. With the annoyingly persistent throbbing of my head, and the fear of sleeping through my alarm and missing my shift (as I thought I had done yesterday morning until I realized that I had my schedule wrong and my early morning shift is actually THIS morning. I tell you, nothing gets you shaking in your jammies faster than the thought of "I am an HOUR LATE FOR WORK!!!"), it's hard to divert my thoughts. But in the wee small hours of the morning, amidst the pain & anxiety, my mind eventually made it's way to a more pleasant, yet bittersweet thought. 

Today, December 7th, would have been my Grandpa Red's 93rd birthday. He passed away suddenly about seven years ago, and while I miss him throughout the year, it is always at the holiday time that I miss him especially.

Recently, I've been obsessing over reading the works of Brene Brown, and one of the topics she writes about is "Celebrating the Ordinary and Uncool." In her book, "I Thought It Was Just Me," Dr. Brown writes, 

"In our culture, the fear and shame of being ordinary is very real...We seem to measure the value of people's contributions (and sometimes their entire lives) by their level of public recognition. In other words, worth is measured by fame and fortune.
"Our culture is quick to dismiss quiet, ordinary, hardworking men and women. In many instances, we equate ordinary with boring or, even more dangerous, ordinary has become synonymous with meaningless."

My grandfather was proof that an "ordinary" life is NOT boring, and definitely NOT meaningless. In his quiet way, he taught me what's most important in life, and what is the most meaningful. Yet in the world's measure of greatness by how many recognitions, awards, and "Likes" we get on Facebook, my grandfather wouldn't have made the cut.  If he were alive today, how many "Likes" would my grandpa's posts have gotten on Facebook? Probably not very many (assuming he could figure out how to navigate Facebook. He had to have my dad come to "color code" how to use a CD player - which I think is totally fine, btw). However my grandpa was one of the greatest men I'll ever know.

As I think back over all of the simple, ordinary memories I have with him, they are among the ones that mean the most to me in my life: 

• Taking me shopping for Christmases and birthdays. No matter how old I got, he would always ask me if I wanted to go shopping to pick out my gifts. And he was so patient as I meandered from store to store. It is a very patient man that will not only go shopping with a woman, but suggest they go shopping. Our shopping trips would always include a lunch date, too. The lunches were never fancy, but to this day, our dates to McDonald's and Friendly's go down in history as some of my favorite dining-out memories.

• Greeting cards. During one of our shopping trips, I remember stopping in a greeting card shop so that he could pick out a card for someone. We must've spent half an hour and he intently searched, read and deliberated over a card that expressed exactly what was in his heart. Throughout my life I had received dozens of cards from him, and the only thing he ever wrote in them was "Love, Grandpa" with lots of X's and O's. But that day in the card shop I realized that the words provided by the greeting card company weren't just generic words to my grandfather - they were exactly what he wanted to express. After he died,  I remember looking through a scrapbook of all of the cards he'd given to my grandmother - from their courtship, throughout their marriage. Cards that were faded and wearing with age, however to look through them and re-read them was to witness their timeless love.

• Laughing at "Home Alone." No matter how many times he watched it, Grandpa would laugh so hard at the slapstick humor. Every time I watch it, I am reminded of him (and the joy from the simple humor of watching someone get a paint can in the face).

• The Baby Whisperer. My grandfather loved babies - he loved to hold them and walk with them. I think he's the source of the "Baby Whisperer" genes that occasionally show up in my family. Something about the way he walked them would calm them and put them to sleep. Seeing how loving my grandpa was with babies made me wish that I was a 19 year old bride - just so that my babies could've been walked to sleep by him. 

Just so many warm memories....spending time with him after my parents separated, watching him tearfully kiss my grandmother's forehead to say goodbye when she passed away, witnessing how much he loved family and loved life.

My grandfather was one of those people that I knew loved me just because. Not for anything I did or earned, but just because I was his granddaughter. I never had to accomplish any great feat to earn his love - no matter what, I knew that he loved me and was proud of me, as he was of all of his grandchildren and his family. 

Since it's Christmastime, the Muppet Christmas Carol is in my head and playing on my iPod (as usual). One of the songs in the film include these lyrics: 

The love we found we carry with us, so we're never quite alone.

Whenever life gets me down, or feels like it's at its darkest, my grandfather's love is something that I carry with me, helping me to feel that I'm not alone. 

There's another song from that movie that goes, "and if you need to know the measure of a man, you simply count his friends." I don't think the lyrics are referring to the "Friends" on Facebook or in your Google Plus circles, or your networks on Linkedin. It's not people that you haven't spoken to in years, but true friends - people who know the real you, and love and respect you for it. And these "friends" can include those you're related to - your family. By this standard, my grandfather was one of the greatest men I'll ever know. His sweet, meaningful, ordinary life is one that I hope to emulate, that I can leave as loving a legacy as he has left behind.

Happy birthday, Grandpa. I miss you. 

   

   

Thankful

I don't remember how old I was, or when it was exactly, but one Thanksgiving eve my dad told me I should watch the Laurel & Hardy classic March of the Wooden Soldiers (aka "Babes in Toyland") that was showing on a local channel that night. I remember liking it, but looking back I guess it was a little freaky. I mean, look at these pictures - especially the cat. Yikes.

Freaky pigs, cat, Barnaby, and the monkey in a mouse costume (ok, I actually think the mouse is adorable)

(And since we're on the subject, it was only a few years ago that I realized that the Mickey Mouse character was played by a monkey. All I can say is, I want one.)

Best monkey actor ever

It's not like the movie became a Thanksgiving eve tradition at our house. Even though we recorded it, I don't think I ever watched it again. The reason it sticks with me so much is because I remember how I felt when I watched it: excitement, anticipation, contentment, security. The holiday season was here - which meant time with family, traditions, new memories, and of course, good food.

Which brings me to what I'm thankful for the most this Thanksgiving. Believe me, my gratitude journal is already filled with an abundance of blessings, but I am also very, very grateful for memories.

James M. Barrie wrote, "God gave us memory so that we might have roses in December." As I get older, and all of my family gets more spread out, I become more grateful for the gift of memory that still brings them close to me despite the miles and miles between us. So many amazing holiday memories - my brother, my cousins and me making a tape of us singing Christmas songs; me dropping pumpkin pie down my back (in my defense, I was trying to keep it away from my brother); my grandfather bringing chestnuts to roast; my aunt's macaroni pie; watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade and the National Dog Show (with the entertaining commentary by my family). So many memories - some of them so inconsequential. But so dear to my heart.

Maybe it's because it's the holidays and I'm feeling more generous than usual, but I'm also grateful for the less-than-warm-and-fuzzy recollections that I have - the disappointments, heartbreaks, times of trial and loss, loneliness, uncertainty. I don't think I'm yet the person that says, "I'm so grateful for my trials" (because, let's face it, they suck). But as I look at my life and my past, I am grateful for every single minute. Because as excruciating as some of those moments have been and are, they are proof that I'm living my life - that I'm alive. And what a wonderful life it is.

Happy Thanksgiving, world.

Bless Us All

I love the Holiday season, especially Christmas. I always have. Although I'm 30 years old, my dad still loves to tell stories about the 5-year-old (and younger) me that used to be up ALL NIGHT LONG on Christmas Eve, waiting for Christmas morning with all of the excited of a bumblebee on multiple amphetamines. As I got older, I would begin my holiday planning and shopping before most of my other family members - I don't remember when exactly I first uttered the phrase "It's never too early," in regards to getting in the holiday spirit, but I definitely wasn't even a teenager yet. And this excitement for the holiday season hasn't waned with the years.

***Yet-another-one-of-Adele's-Disclaimers: When I say "It's never too early," I am not saying put your Christmas tree up in September. Or play Christmas carols in August (although I have had to bust out *NSYNC's "O Holy Night" in July before. But that's because IT'S JUST THAT GOOD). I just find it works for me to start considering people's Christmas presents in the the fall, or to start listening to Christmas music and watching Holiday movies when Halloween's over (because, really, there are so many great Christmas songs and films, I don't have the time to fully appreciate them in the short span of Black Friday-Christmas Day). 

So while some people might have had a problem starting to Celebrate the Season in October, well, although I had to make sure I got in plenty of viewing time of "Garfield's Halloween Adventure," "It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown," "Double Double Toil and Trouble," and "Hocus Pocus," I was really OK with it. And it may only be the beginning of November, but I am not ashamed to admit that I've already broken the seal and watched Christmas movies. 

This afternoon, I put on a Christmas classic - The Muppet Christmas Carol, and one of the songs stood out to me especially (maybe because it's the Sabbath, and I've been trying to think on the Savior today in general). "Bless Us All" was one of those numbers I used to fast-forward through when I was younger (I regret to say), but I think that's because I didn't take the time to listen to the words.....

Life is full of sweet surprises
Every day's a gift
The sun comes up and i can feel it lift my spirit
Fills me up with laughter, fills me up with song
I look into the eyes of love and know that i belong

Bless us all, who gather here
The loving family i hold dear
No place on earth, compares with home
And every path will bring me back from where i rome
Bless us all, that as we live
We always comfort and forgive
We have so much, that we can share
With those in need we see around us everywhere

Let us always love each other 
Lead us to the light
Let us hear the voice of reason, singing in the night
Let us run from anger and catch us when we fall
Teach us in our dreams and please, yes please
Bless us one and all 

Bless us all with playful years 
With noisy games and joyful tears
We reach for you and we stand tall 
And in our prayers and dreams
We ask you bless us all

We reach for you and we stand tall 
And in our prayers and dreams we ask you 
Bless us all

(Oh, Paul Williams, you are a poet....)

In describing this song, someone once said, "It's like a prayer." That it is. And one of the parts that affects me the most is the line, "We reach for you, and we stand tall. And in our prayers and dreams we ask you, bless us all." How true. When we reach for Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ - whether in our thoughts, in our prayers, in our kindness towards others - we cannot help but stand taller. They lift us above our own imperfections, anxieties, shortcomings, fears, and limitations, to a life that's filled with light, joy, hope, and love - a truly abundant life. 

That's one of the things I love about the Christmas season - this beautiful little reminder.

Just a little buddy tribute

Today is my little sister's birthday. I say "little," but today is actually her TWENTY-FIFTH birthday, so she's actually NOT so little anymore (well, that's not entirely true. She is still "fun-sized", i.e. 4'10", and is petite, and adorable, but she's not freakishly small or anything - like, I can't put her in my pocket like I'm the big baby from "Honey, I Blew Up the Kid" :P). But since she's five-and-a-half years my junior, she'll always be my "little sister" - even when she's the one giving me the advice, comfort and wisdom of someone beyond her years.....

I don't know if she's ever truly allowed herself to believe just how awesome a person she is. Not just awesome, but talented, intelligent, witty, beautiful, courageous, compassionate.....I would run out of words before I could come even remotely close to describing all that she is, and all that she brings to this world simply by being in it.

I'm sure I never told her enough when we were younger just how amazing it was to have her in my life - what can I say, kids are not always the most conscientious about stuff like that. But it was because of her that I became a big sister. I had someone to play with (because I could only force persuade my big brother to play Barbies and house for so many years). Someone to wear matching outfits with. Someone to be my buddy. She was always willing and ecstatic to play with me when all of my "friends" were too busy or forgot about me altogether.

My memories may get foggier over the years, but one sticks out pretty vividly when I think about my sister. I'm not sure how old she was - maybe 3 or 4? I was having a friend sleepover one night, and my mom told Mia that she could stay up with us, and she was so excited. My friend and I went to get ready for bed, or something, and when we came back to the living room to watch our movie, or do whatever it was we had planned to do, there was my little sister, proudly presenting her gift to us - which was on the coffee table. There, she'd set out 3 sandwiches that she'd made all by herself. Ok, so the bread was cinnamon raisin, and she'd piled about a pound of roast beef on each sandwich so that the top slice was barely staying on, but the look on her face was one of pure happiness and delight from being able to surprise us. And it is this sweetness and fun-loving that she's brought to life through the years with her beautiful smile and bright, smiley eyes.

Sisters & Monkeys

She's always been such a creative, capable, compassionate person. She dreams big, laughs often, and smiles with her whole being. She knows what she likes, what she wants, and she doesn't let herself get deterred by fears or critics. And one of the things about her that I admire most - she loves with her whole heart. She is a true, loyal friend, and will be your biggest supporter. (And if anyone messes with you, she's got your back!)

Buddies

So, happy birthday, my dearest sister!!!! I hope you can recognize all that you've accomplished in the past 25 short years. I hope you can see yourself for all the goodness and light you bring to this world. And most of all, I hope you can cherish yourself and feel how cherished you are by those who know you and love you.

"Keep smiling, keep shining"..... I love you forever!

Soundtrack Nerd

About a month or so ago, I caught the end of "A Few Good Men" when it was showing on FX. And I have to say, what stood out to me wasn't the "You-can't-handle-the-truth" drama, but the music scoring at the end of the film. I had to IMDB it to find out who the composer was (Marc Shaiman, for those of you who were wondering). What can I say, I'm a soundtrack nerd. I love how composers can create moods and heighten the emotions of a film. It's like they have this gift where they're able to take what a situation or experience feels like, or what a character feels or thinks, and express it musically.  

It's magic.

And brilliance.

On the rare occasion, I can guess who the composer is while listening to the score in the film. I admit it, I'm the one in the group that states, "This score is FANTASTIC!" while watching a totally AMAZING movie. I still appreciate the acting, the direction, the special effects, the cinematography....

But, oh, the SOUNDTRACK!!!

Here are just a few of my favorite composers, and a very brief showcase of their genius.


Michael Giacchino



The man behind Up, The Incredibles, Ratatouille, Star Trek, Lost, MI:4 - Ghost Protocol....just to name a few!

Alan Silvestri



I decided to share this track from The Avengers since it's one of his later works - but I could've also shared Back to the Future, Forrest Gump, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Practical Magic, Night at the Museum......stop me at any time....

Hans Zimmer



There's a lot to choose from among the repertoire of Mr. Zimmer - The Lion King, Rain Man, Days of Thunder, Pirates of the Caribbean 2, 3, & 4, Inception, Gladiator, The Prince of Egypt, As Good As It Gets, A League of Their Own, Christopher Nolan's Batman trilogy, or something from one of the other 149 titles listed on IMDB.com. But one of my all-time favorite scores of his is The Holiday. It's been in my radio alarm clock for the past year.

Patrick Doyle



He may not be as familiar a name as other composers, but in my opinion, Mr. Doyle has created some of the most beautiful scores, including Sense & Sensibility (1995), Mrs Winterbourne, Love's Labour's Lost, Thor, and Brave. This track from Nanny McPhee is overwhelmingly beautiful. Listen to it with your eyes closed.

Rachel Portman



Only You may be one of her lesser-known works, but it's a gem. Other must-listens by Rachel Portman: Benny and Joon, Chocolat, Emma, The Legend of Bagger Vance, Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas.

James Newton Howard



Like Hans Zimmer, J.N. Howard has many, many film scores to his credit (135, according to IMDB.com), including E.R., The Hunger Games, Pretty Woman, The Fugitive, The Sixth Sense, Signs, and Peter Pan (2003). What I love about this track from The Village is how JNH can make the score to a thriller beautiful.  (Check out the music around 2:38 - it's ridiculous!!)

Mark Isham



My sister shared this track with me, and I fell in LOVE with this, because....well, it just sounds like love. So now, if I don't hear this in my head when I'm with a date, I'll dump him. (Heehee - name that movie!) Not only has Mark Isham composed such emotionally-powerful pieces for Once Upon a Time, but his credits also include Miracle, The Majestic, Life As a House, October Sky, and Of Mice and Men (1992). Just try to keep your eyes dry. (Oh, yeah, he also did Point Break....)


Thomas Newman



Listening to the Finding Nemo soundtrack, I always feel like I'm floating in the ocean....or flowing in the EAC. That's just the brilliance of Thomas Newman - he somehow melodiously captures very specific atmospheres and moments. Some classic soundtracks of his (besides Nemo) are WALL-E, Meet Joe Black, Phenomenon, The Shawshank Redemption, The Green Mile, Fried Green Tomatoes, and Jumpin' Jack Flash.

John Williams 



Known as the "composer of some of the most recognizable themes in the history of film," this post wouldn't be complete without John Williams. Besides the above track from Episode IV (one of my fav pieces - it's gorgeous), this genius' opus also includes the original Harry Potter theme, Indiana Jones, E.T., Home Alone, Hook, Jurassic Park, Schindler's List, Catch Me If You Can....the list of fantastic scores just keeps on going.   Referring back to Star Wars - Episode IV, a piece of trivia that I found fascinating, courtesy of IMDB.com:

"George Lucas planned to score the film with existing classical music like Stanley Kubrick had done on "2001: A Space Odyssey" before Steven Spielberg introduced him to composer John Williams. Lucas and Williams agreed on a classical 19th-century Romantic music style with liberal use of leitmotif for the score. Since the movie would show worlds never seen before, the music had to serve as an 'emotional anchor' for the audience to relate."

That's one of the elements of film scores that I love: they can transport us to new worlds, while still keeping us emotionally anchored. Film scores help us to connect and relate to the world we're viewing - whether it's a familiar-looking neighborhood, a well-known city, or "in a galaxy far, far away."

A builder or a wrecker?

While on my mission, I accumulated a lot of talks-on-CD (missionaries are somewhat limited to what they can listen to, and one can only take so much EFY). One of the talks I acquired was John Bytheway's "What are you carrying in your backpack?" talk. If you ever get a chance, listen to it - even though he's addressing preteens and teenagers, his message can apply to all. One of the things he references is this poem:

"I passed one day through a lonely town
And saw men tearing a building down.
With a ho-heave-ho and a husky yell,
They swung a beam and a side wall fell.
I asked the foreman, 'are these men skilled?
The kind you'd hire if you had to build?'
'Oh no,' he chuckled, 'no indeed.
The common laborer is all I need.
Why I can destroy in a day or two
What builders have taken weeks to do,'

I thought to myself as I went on my way,
Which of these roles have I tried to play?
Am I a builder who works with care,
Strengthening lives by rule and square.
Shaping my peers to a well-made plan,
Helping them be the best they can?
Or am I a wrecker who walks around
Content with the labor of tearing down?"
--Author Unknown

I try to be a Builder. But it gets hard sometimes, especially when "misery loves company." Have you ever noticed how people almost get mad at you if you don't hop on the bandwagon to their let's-bash-everything-fest? Being a Wrecker certainly seems like the more popular choice. 




It may not be the "in" thing to be, but I want to be a Builder. It makes the world a prettier place.

jarviedigital.com

The Power of Vulnerability

A friend of mine shared this video on Facebook. I've watched a few talks on TED.com before that blew my mind - so that fact, along with the title that resonated so deeply with me, intrigued me enough to postpone my bedtime by another 20 minutes so that I could watch it. I think this talk is going to be my new obsession for a while....

Check it out - whether you're profoundly affected as I was, or at the very least entertained, it'll be worth your time.

"Your talent is God's gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God." ~ Leo Buscaglia

A week ago, I was asked to speak in church, and I thought it was a subject that may be of some interest to those who couldn't be there....

About a month ago, I was driving in the car with my sister. We have a pretty long commute to and from work, but it’s a fun time to be together and to talk. On this particular night, we somehow got on the subject of talents, and I shared with my sister how I thought I was adequate at a lot of things, but not OUTSTANDING at one particular thing - I didn’t feel like there was one thing that I was “ridiculously talented” at doing. After thinking about it a moment, my sister offered her thoughts to try to help me recognize the good (because that’s a talent that’s she’s really good at!):

“Well, you’re really nurturing.” she told me. I appreciated that she was trying to make me feel better, but I couldn’t help thinking that I’d rather have a talent that would make it easier to pay the bills!

That same weekend, a member of the bishopric asked me to speak in church, and he gave me my topic: “Developing our talents” and “using them to benefit others.” I thought Ok, this couldn’t be a coincidence. There must be something the Lord wants me to learn.

WE’RE ALL GIVEN TALENTS
When I began searching this topic, of course the first thing that came to mind was the parable of the entrusted talents that Jesus taught in Matthew 25:

14 ¶For the kingdom of heaven is as a man travelling into a far country, who called his own servants, and delivered unto them his goods.
15 And unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability; and straightway took his journey.

Of the three servants, the ones who were given 5 and 2 talents each doubled their talents. But the one who was given only one hid his in the ground b/c he “was afraid.” When the lord of the servants returned, they each told him what they had done. To the servants that had doubled their talents, the lord said,
21 ...Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.

But to the servant that hid his talent, the lord took it away from him and gave it to the servant that had ten, saying,
29 For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath.

What stood out to me as I’ve re-read this parable, is that the servant of the one talent hid it out of fear. How many of us have felt like that servant, afraid to develop our talent - or doubtful if it’s a very good talent to begin with, and if it really isn’t that great then it might as well be hidden away b/c nobody wants it anyway.....Or maybe we fear b/c we compare our talents to others, or we fail to recognize our talent altogether.  

In one of my favorite talks by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, entitled “The OtherProdigal,” he addresses these feelings:
Someone or something is forever telling us we need to be more handsome or more wealthy, more applauded or more admired than we see ourselves as being....
We are bombarded with the message that on the world’s scale of things we have been weighed in the balance and found wanting.

A TALENT FOR SPIRITUALITY
Thankfully, we don’t need to rely on the world’s messages alone. Because of the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ, we know who we are - each one of us is a beloved son or daughter of God. And, as Elder Holland has stated, “no one of us is less treasured or cherished of God than another.”

Each one of us has been given talents - just as every servant in the parable was given talents. How many talents we have doesn’t affect our importance to our Heavenly Father. He doesn’t compare us to others, He just wants us to develop the gifts and talents we’ve been given. One talent that each of us has, can help us as we seek to identify and develop other talents, that is the Talent for Spirituality.
Elder Bruce R. McConkie once said that this was “above all talents” and “chief among all endowments.”

We had this talent as spirits in the pre-earth life, as seen by Abraham in the Pearl of Great Price: (Abraham 3:22-23)
22 Now the Lord had shown unto me, Abraham, the intelligences that were organized before the world was; and among all these there were many of the noble and great ones;
23 And God saw these souls that they were good, and he stood in the midst of them, and he said: These I will make my rulers; for he stood among those that were spirits, and he saw that they were good; and he said unto me: Abraham, thou art one of them; thou wast chosen before thou wast born.

Each one of those souls [each one of us] that Abraham saw that were ‘good’ chose to follow our Heavenly Father and His Plan of Happiness for us by coming to earth and receiving a body. This talent for spirituality has remained with us - it is the reason why we’re here today. It enables us to recognize truth, and listen to and follow the Spirit of the Lord.

WHAT TALENTS SHOULD WE DEVELOP
Although this Talent for Spirituality can help us follow Moroni’s admonition to “lay hold upon every good gift” (Moroni 10:30), I confess I still sometimes struggle identifying talents that I have, or knowing what talents I should work on developing.

In thinking about what talents I should develop, I started thinking about the many different talents that I’ve observed in the people in my life. But as I was thinking about all of the people in my life, I thought of One that is the most talented - Christ. And as I was pondering Christ’s talents, charity came to mind.

[In Moroni 7, Mormon teaches us about this gift -
45 And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
46 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail—
47 But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.]

I was surprised to find that “Charity” - the pure love of Christ - is often referred to in the scriptures as a “talent.” I don’t know about you, but I haven’t seen anybody win “America’s Got Talent” because of their talent for having charity towards others. (Actually, to be honest I’ve never even watched “America’s Got Talent.”) But when I think about the quality I most admire in the Savior and others in my life, and the talent that they’ve shared that’s blessed my life the most, it’s charity.

The Bible Dictionary defines charity as:
 The highest, noblest, strongest kind of love, not merely affection; the pure love of Christ. It is never used to denote alms or deeds of benevolence, although it may be a prompting motive
Along with being one of the most important gifts we can possess, Charity is also important as the motivation behind how we use our other talents - and how we use them to benefit others.

But going back to considering Christ’s talents, it makes sense to me why I didn’t instantly think “Charity” when thinking about “talents” -- it’s not something the world places much focus on -- it certainly wasn’t during Christ’s time, as Nephi writes in the Book of Mormon:

9 And the world, because of their iniquity, shall judge him to be a thing of naught; wherefore they scourge him, and he suffereth it; and they smite him, and he suffereth it. Yea, they spit upon him, and he suffereth it, because of his loving kindness and his long-suffering towards the children of men. (1 Ne. 19:9)

As we seek to develop our talent of charity - and other skills and attributes - we can’t get discouraged if the world isn’t lining up to shower us with awards or recognition. As Nephi tells us,
7 For the things which some men esteem to be of great worth, both to the body and soul, others set at naught and trample under their feet. Yea, even the very God of Israel do men trample under their feet; (1 Ne. 19:7)

Christ’s talents weren’t recognized by everyone during his lifetime, yet he continued to do the work His Father sent Him to do.  

Each of us has work that we were sent here to do - and that includes developing our talents. Along with the talents we brought with us to this life from the pre-existence, this life is the time to develop other talents. Some talents seem to be innate, while others take considerable effort and learning.  As this life is a “probationary state; a time to prepare to meet God,” it is the time to allow the Spirit - through our Talent for Spirituality - to guide us as we try to develop different talents.

SEEK EARNESTLY THE BEST GIFTS
In the scriptures we are commanded to “seek ye earnestly the best gifts,” remembering that “every good gift cometh of Christ.”

Once we have found those good gifts and desire to pursue them, we are not alone in the development of them - the Lord will help us.
President Henry B. Eyring, in his talk from 2009, “Real-Life Education,” states,
The Lord and His Church have always encouraged education to increase our ability to serve Him and our Heavenly Father’s children. For each of us, whatever our talents, He has service for us to give. And to do it well always involves learning, not once or for a limited time, but continually.
Through prayer, fasting, and hard work, with a motive to serve Him, we can expect His grace to attend us.

HOW DO WE DEVELOP TALENTS
Heavenly Father wants to bless us with talents or gifts, so that we can bless others, but we need to ASK. In the Doctrine & Covenants it states, “Ye are commanded in all things to ask of God, who giveth liberally.”

And as we humbly ask and rely on the Lord to help us grow and improve in our talents, we will see in our lives the help He promises in the Book ofMormon:
27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

Although we may get discouraged, or feel that our talents aren’t good enough or worthwhile, we need to remember the prophet Alma’s words in the Book of Mormon:
"that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass"

We also can’t allow ourselves to get caught up in focusing on the talents we haven’t been given, or the number of talents we have. While there are many gifts of the Spirit, as listed in section 46 of the Doctrine & Covenants, the Lord tells us,
For all have not every gift given unto them; for there are many gifts, and to every man is given a gift by the Spirit of God.
To some is given one, and to some is given another, that all may be profited thereby.
Like the servant in the parable, we cannot fear - we can’t waste the ONE talent we’ve been given just because we don’t have FIVE.
As the Lord tells us in D&C 64:33:
33 Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great.

Of the Parable of the Talents, the prophet Joseph Smith taught, “When the Master in the Savior’s parable of the stewards called his servants before him he gave them several talents to improve on while he should tarry abroad for a little season, and when he returned he called for an accounting. So it is now, Our Master is absent only for a little season, and at the end of it He will call each to render an account; and where the 5 talents were bestowed, ten will be required; and he that has made no improvement will be cast out as an unprofitable servant, while the faithful enjoy everlasting honors.”

President James E. Faust, in a talk from 2002 (“I Believe I Can, I Knew I Could”) echoed the Prophet Joseph’s words:
The Lord entrusts all of His servants... with spiritual talents. The Lord, who endows us with these talents, tells us: “I believe you can. I believe you can.” While we are not all equal in experience, aptitude, and strength, we have different opportunities to employ these spiritual gifts, and we will all be accountable for the use of the gifts and opportunities given to us.

Heavenly Father has blessed each one of us with talents. The number of talents we have makes no difference to Him, and He doesn’t compare our talents to the talents of others. His desire is that we take those gifts that we’ve been blessed with, those talents that are uniquely our own, and become our very best. It is only then that our talents can truly benefit and bless the lives of others. 

I win the Most Awkward Award

(Not to be confused with the contest my sister won to meet the cast of "Awkward"....)

So, the other day I was headed into work and I decided to take a shortcut to check in for my shift. I thought I knew the way to go, but somehow I ended up in the wrong break room and came face to face with...a group of hunky men. Let's just say they are in very good shape. And do some pretty cool stunts.

"Hey!" one of them greeted me, "Come on in!" I knew he was just humoring the Poor Dweeby Lost Girl who obviously was in the wrong place. I could feel my awkwardness diffusing through the air.

"Sorry, " I said. "I'm lost..." and  I proceeded to tell them what I thought this place was - the place I was looking for.

"Nope," said the friendly stunt guy. "This isn't it."

I wanted to beeline out of there as fast as I could but I couldn't resist. So, before turning around and leaving I said, "Nope, it sure isn't - it's better looking!"

Better Alone Than Poorly Accompanied

Recently, my mom got a stack of books out of the library all about finding a man. "Why Men Marry Certain Women and Not Others," "Getting the Love You Want," stuff like that. Let me tell you, dating is a weird and wacky thing by itself - but it's even weirder when your parents are divorced and mom and pop are out there dating other people, too. I have a hard time with those dating books. Sometimes I feel like they make me MORE nervous/neurotic/awkward because instead of just being myself around guys, I get all stressed trying to remember all of the "tips and tricks" listed in these "helpful" books.

I did read some from one of the books she got - "Women Have All the Power....Too Bad They Don't Know It." In the book that the author, Michael J. Lockwood, wrote specifically for his teenage daughters, he gives a lot of advice - much of it common sense, in my opinion - and speaks from the male point of view. While I only got 1/3 of the way through it (it made me anxious trying to remember all the ways to properly use my "power"), one of the things he said really stuck with me, so I made a note of it on my phone. In one chapter he wrote, "better alone than poorly accompanied." And that really hit me.

I wasn't the kind of girl that did a lot of dating in high school. Actually, I did almost no dating in high school. I think I can count on one hand the amount of dates I went on before I went to college (and not much changed when I got there, either). And for a girl that grew up eating and drinking movie musicals (where life doesn't really begin until you've got a gorgeous baritone chasing your down), life was pretty lonely as opportunities to date seemed to get lost in the mail.

In the years that have followed, I've had opportunities to date. Sometimes it's quality, sometimes just quantity (as in, "well, at least I have a date...."). And I fully understand that a girl has to date a lot of frogs before she finds her prince. But lately I've begun to understand what the author meant when he stressed, "better alone than poorly accompanied." There are times when it's definitely better (and more enjoyable, I might add) to be by yourself than out with a man. Especially if he makes you feel like you're less than you are.

I wish this concept had sunk in when I was 19. Or 22. Or 27. I may have been able to spare myself some frustration and heartache. Or maybe the true way to reach this conclusion is by going on all those awful dates and being in the bad relationships, so that you eventually (sooner, rather than later!) come to realize, "hey, I'm not bad company, but this guy is."

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm all for giving a date the benefit of the doubt (as I'd want him to give to me), and focusing on a guy's strengths rather than dwelling on his weaknesses. I sometimes feel like my whole life is one big awkward moment, so I'm totally up for cutting a guy some slack. But there are certain traits that I feel fall under the "poorly accompanied" category - if he belittles you, manipulates you, uses you, disrespects you, criticizes you, or abuses you in any way. In any of these cases, I feel that there is nothing shameful about staying home with the TV and a bowl of ice cream - or going shopping - or going to the gym - or getting groceries - or organizing your closet - or paying bills - or "dancing it out" in your living room - or taking a bubble bath - or doing anything that you enjoy, a healthy activity that makes you feel good - instead of going out on a date with a less than desirable lad.

The world is really good at telling us what makes us successful, and what gives us worth. It even sometimes tells us that if we aren't going out on a lot of dates, or in a relationship, or being pursued by members of the opposite sex 24/7, then we are L-O-S-E-R-S. But I've seen a lot of unhappy people who date quite a bit, or are in a relationship. I've been there myself. I've felt so lonely that I figure any guy is better than no guy. But you know those things they tell you you'll learn as you get older? Well, one of them is realizing that you're pretty darn great just the way you are, even if you're all on your own.

I never watched "Sex and the City," but thanks to Pinterest, I've found a lot of great quotes, including this one from that show --

"...the most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all is the one you have is with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous."

So, don't worry -- the Right One will come along. And he'll be worth waiting for. And we'll probably have to go on a lot more dates until we find him. But until then, don't overlook or sacrifice the amazingness that you are just to be with somebody. Remember, better alone than poorly accompanied.

emBody: ED Talks #4: The Story of My Body--by Adele G.

My amazing, beautiful, talented friend, Dana, has created this blog that I think is one of the most uplifting and inspiring things on the internet today. In a world where we are constantly told what is "wrong" with our bodies, this blog celebrates what gifts they are, explores the mind-body-spirit connection, and promotes healing and strength for anyone who battles eating disorders or other struggles with his/her body.

At the encouragement of family and friends, this is my piece that I wrote for her blog. It was difficult to organize the jumble of thoughts in my brain that had bumped around for decades, but it was worth it. If you struggle when you look in the mirror - or know someone that does - you need to check out this blog. Echoing the blog's intro: "Healing is possible. Living is the reward."


emBody: ED Talks #4: The Story of My Body--by Adele G.: I went on my first diet was when I was eleven years old. I was tired of being the “chubby one” in the family. Tired of having a pot belly ...

30, Flirty, and Thriving

I turned 30 years old a couple of weeks ago. At first, I wasn't really looking forward to it. Despite the encouragement from well-wishers telling me, "30 is the new 20," "30 is just a number," and other positive statements, I lacked the oh-mi-gosh-my-birthday-is-coming-up-I-can't-wait excitement that I felt when I was younger. In the weeks leading up to my birthday, I even hesitated to make solid plans to celebrate, thinking that if I didn't make plans, maybe it wouldn't happen and I would keep being 29 (note to all, that doesn't work). Long story short -- too late -- leading up to my birthday I felt like this:

I really don't know why I was slightly freaking out. Maybe it was those thoughts in my head (thanks to the small minority in society that still thinks this way) telling me that if I was turning 30 I should be married with 2.5 kids instead of being single and living at home with my mom. Or maybe because I couldn't think of what exactly to do for my birthday. Being the overachiever that I am, I felt that I needed to do something REEEEEAAALLY epic for my 30th (where's Tori Spelling to be my party planner when I need her?!). Caribbean cruise, trip to Paris, surfing in Hawaii, time-traveling....all of them were out. If I were a different person, I'd probably get a tattoo or pierce something not on my face....but yeah, that wasn't going to happen.

What ended up happening was pretty cool - and further evidence that you never stop learning, no matter how old you get. In an appropriately-timed life lesson, despite my stressing to come up with the perfect celebration plans, my 30th turned out to be serendipitously amazing mostly on its own. Reiterating that life doesn't turn out how you plan - it turns out better. Here are just a few of the highlights, and, in my opinion, things that make for a pretty spectacular 30th birthday.

Flowers

The Friday before my birthday, I came home to a box of flowers from my bestest friend, Darcy.

She spoils me, 'cause, as she says, "Someone has to!"

Treats


The next day, this bundle of sweets was waiting on my doorstep from Joy, Joe, and Ruby.

The dialog bubble cookie came that way - how perfect is that?! Since all of my friends really are characters. ;)

Yeah, the contents of that basket are gone already.

Sparkles


A week before my birthday, my cousin and his wife were in town, and while we were doing some window shopping, I found a store that had a tiara section. My cousin's wife said that she thought I needed a tiara for my 30th, I agreed. This was their gift to me, and I used it well - I pretty much wore it all weekend. :)

The surest way to get excited for your birthday? Buy a tiara.

My mom surprised me with some more sparkles for my birthday that nearly brought me to tears and caused me to shake a little bit.

Diamond hug & kiss? Yes, please!

Hugh Jackman


Along with the beautiful necklace and other girly goodies, Mom also surprised me with my favorite leading man.

Obviously, I didn't get Hugh in the flesh, but, technically, I got Hugh - in the form of this

And this

Awesome musical number
My dad and I had a day of Disney fun to celebrate my birthday, including dinner at Germany, where we got to be a part of this.




So, to everyone that is nervous about an upcoming birthday, take heart. It turns out that all of my anxieties about it were all for nothing - it was actually one of the best birthdays ever. I am the luckiest girl in the world - and now, "30, flirty, and thriving."

A photographer in the family

I wanted to share the latest post from my dad's blog.  He came to Disney with me last Friday (and the Friday before, but that's another blog post....), and he took some of the prettiest pictures of the scenery around the parks (along with some great shots of the cutest little teacup!).  Dad has always had such a knack for photography - his pictures always make you feel like you're right there.



A Work in Progress...: Meeting Chip at Beauty and the Beast: Since I missed catching up with Chip a week ago Friday, I met Adele again this past Friday to give it another go. I wanted to leave St. Pe...

I shun the latest trends....unless they're super cool

I try to be an individual.  Just because everyone is talking about / reading / watching / participating in "the new, cool thing,"  I have to stop and deliberate over whether it's something I actually want to invest myself in.  I don't watch "Dancing with the Stars," "The Bachelor," or "American Idol."  I cringe when I see a commercial or read about the "amazing new diet" trend that is sweeping the nation.  I still haven't read an entire book from the "Twilight" series, and I actually stopped watching "Glee" months ago.  Maybe I'm just stubborn, or maybe holding out on following what's popular subconsciously gives me a sick sense of pride and superiority......whatever the reason, I don't like to go along with stuff just because "everyone else is doing it."

Except for this

Oh, and these

And let's not forget THIS

Ok, maybe I'm not as original an individual as I think - but I AM a little picky about what new fad I'm going to embrace (sorry, skinny jeans, it's never going to happen).  It usually has to come highly recommended by someone very close to me, but even then I can need some prodding.
I resisted The Hunger Games for so long after my younger sister said I HAD to read them, and then they became added to my list of all-time favorite books.  So when my youngest sister told me to watch Once Upon A Time, I started soon after she told me to - and now I'm hooked.

What sealed the deal was the episode from a couple weeks ago, when the story inspiration was Beauty and the Beast.  That is already one of my favorite fairy tales, and probably my #1 favorite Disney Princess movie (I think I'll have to devote a blog post to it one of these days), and the way OUAT handled it was truly for the die hard B&B fans (in my opinion).

There was Belle in her yellow ball gown.

And her blue dress.

But I think what made me holler out loud at the TV was the fact that some unenchanted enchanted objects made it into the episode as well

(Check out the candle and clock in the background to the right, and Mrs. Potts on the tray to the left.)

It's easy to almost miss the Lumiere and Cogsworth cameos, but it was hard to ignore this one:

"It's chipped."

HAHAHA!!!