Full Circle

Last week was my 33rd birthday, and we celebrated in the best possible way - a weekend in NYC with family and lots of good food.

The weather was beautiful for most all of the trip - it did rain on my birthday, as has been a habit throughout the years, but it held off for most of the day, and we enjoyed a sunny, springtime morning and afternoon.

I'm not sure when during the trip it dawned on me that it was TEN years ago that I spent my 23rd birthday in NYC. It was a rough period of my life, but my brother and sister-in-law invited me to get away for a few days for some fun in the city - and boy, did they spoil me! My brother introduced me to cupcakes and banana pudding at Magnolia Bakery, my sister-in-law and I got TONS of shopping time together (when I got one of the best pairs of shoes I've ever had), and they sent me home with a custom-made birthday cd. It was full of happy, hopeful songs, and I still remember tears streaming down my face as sat facing backwards on thr train, listening to Rascal Flatts' "Bless the broken road." (I also remember the woman sitting a few seats up from me, looking with a concerned look on her face. She must've wondered what was going on.)

And now, ten years later, I spent my birthday again in the city. This time, I was spoiled by ALL of my siblings - my brother, my sister-in-law, and my sisters. My niece and nephew showered me with lots of love, and I had my amazing and adoring husband by my side. I don't think that I could've imagined such a sweet life for myself a decade ago.

Mamah and me

Maybe it was from my obsession with Jane Austen films. Maybe it was something my nickname-creating littlest sister came up with, and it just stuck. Whatever caused it, at one point I began calling my mother "Ma-MAH" on occasion. Mom and I always had a very close, special relationship. Even when I was a "moody teenager", my mom was one of my favorite people to spend time with, and as I grew older, the facet of friends was added to the Mother/Daughter facet of our relationship.

While there is still a great deal about life that I am still learning, one thing I do know is that it never turns out the way you expect. That's why it isn't completely difficult to believe that my mother and I both had our weddings in the same year.

At my mom's wedding reception - August 2014

With Mamah on my wedding day - September 2014 (photo by livehappystudio.com)

After all, it's the unexpected, unorthodox experiences that tends to make life sweet. And then there are the moments when you're stressed to the max (and you have so many stress hives, your body seems to have turned into one huge hive), feeling anxious and worried, and you wish that things would just be "normal" and "typical" and that you could just step in the footprints of all of those that have tread the same path before you...

..but my path seems to always be off the beaten path...


















Maybe it would be "easier" to have a more "typical" life, but I couldn't help thinking as I talked to my mom on the phone today, how, for lack of a better word, COOL it was that we we're now both in similar periods of our lives. There may be thirty-something years between us, but we're both going through the same kind of transition - as newlywed brides.

If you have ever told the 13-year-old me that LOVED Jane Austen romances, how my life would be two decades later and all of the things I would experience, I probably would find it hard to believe. But I love my story - because it's mine, after all!

And I love my mamah.

Obsessed

There's a new man in my life. Here he is:

My 1st nephew, Red Hudson

This week, I became an auntie to the most perfect little boy. Granted, it isn't any surprise what a perfect little man he is, since he has such amazing genes (his big sister is living proof of these). Red Hudson entered the world early on the morning of the 9th, stealing away the other half of my heart that his sister stole almost two years ago. (For an incredibly moving story behind the meaning of his name, check out his mama's blog. Not only does his name include an amazingly beautiful heritage, but I also think he sounds like one of those classic leading men from Hollywood's Golden Age :).)

I am so blessed to be the aunt of such a precious, heavenly little bundle. I can't wait to hold him and kiss those chubby cheeks. Even though I haven't even met him yet, I feel such an overwhelming urge to protect him - I can't bare to think of anything bad happening to him or his big sister. Yet I know that life has it's share of trials and disappointments. But no matter what happens in life, I will always be there for this little man - and just like I promised his sister, I will always have gum. :)

I love you, Red!!!!

My Bean!!!!

There are few people that I consider to be ideal roommates. One of them is this individual:

Ok, so that picture is a couple of years old...well, about 20 years old. I should probably use this one instead:

Early this morning, my littlest sis flew up to the Northeast to finish up her last semester of college. This past week was her spring break, and since the rest of us lame-o adults had to work, she spent most of her break on an air mattress at my new apartment (which slowly deflated around 3:30-4am each morning, leaving her sleeping on a layer of plastic on my bedroom floor). This girl is a trooper.

And I've got to say it, just having her there made my days so much better.

Most people may know her for her ridiculously awesome talent (see the video below)


Or her awesome wit and sense of humor

What others may not know is she is also one of the sweetest, most patient people on the planet.
She has certainly put up with a lot from me, especially over the last few years since I moved back home. Now she had to share a car, which entailed juggling schedules, and being super flexible as we tried to make both of our work schedules mesh. (And most of the time they didn't.) I lost track of how many days she had to either go in early or wait long after her shift was over because our work schedules couldn't BE more opposite.

But as difficult as the past few years may have been, I am so grateful for the time we had together during her breaks from college. I was lucky to have lived with my other little sister when we were at college together, and it was such a fun bonding experience, I really wanted an experience like that with my littlest sister so that we could also form our own memories together. Having my littlest sister be my "roommate" (even if it was just at our house, or my apartment, or a certain bug-infested hovel that shall remain nameless...), has just proved to me what I learned years ago: my sisters are my favorite roommates of all time, and my best friends.

It's hard to believe she's on her last leg of her undergrad studies. It seems like only yesterday it was her winter break...and she was talking me down when I got stressed out and had a meltdown in the car due to very long weeks of dreaming along with a bunch of characters...trying to cheer me up with a grape Mello Yellow Zero (don't knock it 'til you've tried it!), and making me laugh with her re-enactments of SNL sketches or John Mulaney bits.

She always has a way to make me smile and cheer me up, especially when I'm feeling at my lowest. She is a listening ear and compassionate shoulder to lean on. She has wisdom and insight that is rare to find in someone as young as she is, and it seems that I'm usually the one going to her for advice. :) She can make an ordinary day feel like a day out of a super fun vacation. Not only is she beautiful outside and in, but she makes the world a more beautiful place with her smiles, laughter, and bright-sunny-you-have-to-believe spirit.

I am so very very blessed to have her as one of my very best friends (cue Disney song). I can't wait for the fun times ahead. I love you, Schmoopsie!! And I miss you.

Ordinary greatness & remembering Grandpa

An all-day all-night headache, plus having to get up for work at 4:30am doesn't leave a lot of time for sleeping...but it leaves lots of time for thinking. With the annoyingly persistent throbbing of my head, and the fear of sleeping through my alarm and missing my shift (as I thought I had done yesterday morning until I realized that I had my schedule wrong and my early morning shift is actually THIS morning. I tell you, nothing gets you shaking in your jammies faster than the thought of "I am an HOUR LATE FOR WORK!!!"), it's hard to divert my thoughts. But in the wee small hours of the morning, amidst the pain & anxiety, my mind eventually made it's way to a more pleasant, yet bittersweet thought. 

Today, December 7th, would have been my Grandpa Red's 93rd birthday. He passed away suddenly about seven years ago, and while I miss him throughout the year, it is always at the holiday time that I miss him especially.

Recently, I've been obsessing over reading the works of Brene Brown, and one of the topics she writes about is "Celebrating the Ordinary and Uncool." In her book, "I Thought It Was Just Me," Dr. Brown writes, 

"In our culture, the fear and shame of being ordinary is very real...We seem to measure the value of people's contributions (and sometimes their entire lives) by their level of public recognition. In other words, worth is measured by fame and fortune.
"Our culture is quick to dismiss quiet, ordinary, hardworking men and women. In many instances, we equate ordinary with boring or, even more dangerous, ordinary has become synonymous with meaningless."

My grandfather was proof that an "ordinary" life is NOT boring, and definitely NOT meaningless. In his quiet way, he taught me what's most important in life, and what is the most meaningful. Yet in the world's measure of greatness by how many recognitions, awards, and "Likes" we get on Facebook, my grandfather wouldn't have made the cut.  If he were alive today, how many "Likes" would my grandpa's posts have gotten on Facebook? Probably not very many (assuming he could figure out how to navigate Facebook. He had to have my dad come to "color code" how to use a CD player - which I think is totally fine, btw). However my grandpa was one of the greatest men I'll ever know.

As I think back over all of the simple, ordinary memories I have with him, they are among the ones that mean the most to me in my life: 

• Taking me shopping for Christmases and birthdays. No matter how old I got, he would always ask me if I wanted to go shopping to pick out my gifts. And he was so patient as I meandered from store to store. It is a very patient man that will not only go shopping with a woman, but suggest they go shopping. Our shopping trips would always include a lunch date, too. The lunches were never fancy, but to this day, our dates to McDonald's and Friendly's go down in history as some of my favorite dining-out memories.

• Greeting cards. During one of our shopping trips, I remember stopping in a greeting card shop so that he could pick out a card for someone. We must've spent half an hour and he intently searched, read and deliberated over a card that expressed exactly what was in his heart. Throughout my life I had received dozens of cards from him, and the only thing he ever wrote in them was "Love, Grandpa" with lots of X's and O's. But that day in the card shop I realized that the words provided by the greeting card company weren't just generic words to my grandfather - they were exactly what he wanted to express. After he died,  I remember looking through a scrapbook of all of the cards he'd given to my grandmother - from their courtship, throughout their marriage. Cards that were faded and wearing with age, however to look through them and re-read them was to witness their timeless love.

• Laughing at "Home Alone." No matter how many times he watched it, Grandpa would laugh so hard at the slapstick humor. Every time I watch it, I am reminded of him (and the joy from the simple humor of watching someone get a paint can in the face).

• The Baby Whisperer. My grandfather loved babies - he loved to hold them and walk with them. I think he's the source of the "Baby Whisperer" genes that occasionally show up in my family. Something about the way he walked them would calm them and put them to sleep. Seeing how loving my grandpa was with babies made me wish that I was a 19 year old bride - just so that my babies could've been walked to sleep by him. 

Just so many warm memories....spending time with him after my parents separated, watching him tearfully kiss my grandmother's forehead to say goodbye when she passed away, witnessing how much he loved family and loved life.

My grandfather was one of those people that I knew loved me just because. Not for anything I did or earned, but just because I was his granddaughter. I never had to accomplish any great feat to earn his love - no matter what, I knew that he loved me and was proud of me, as he was of all of his grandchildren and his family. 

Since it's Christmastime, the Muppet Christmas Carol is in my head and playing on my iPod (as usual). One of the songs in the film include these lyrics: 

The love we found we carry with us, so we're never quite alone.

Whenever life gets me down, or feels like it's at its darkest, my grandfather's love is something that I carry with me, helping me to feel that I'm not alone. 

There's another song from that movie that goes, "and if you need to know the measure of a man, you simply count his friends." I don't think the lyrics are referring to the "Friends" on Facebook or in your Google Plus circles, or your networks on Linkedin. It's not people that you haven't spoken to in years, but true friends - people who know the real you, and love and respect you for it. And these "friends" can include those you're related to - your family. By this standard, my grandfather was one of the greatest men I'll ever know. His sweet, meaningful, ordinary life is one that I hope to emulate, that I can leave as loving a legacy as he has left behind.

Happy birthday, Grandpa. I miss you. 

   

   

Thankful

I don't remember how old I was, or when it was exactly, but one Thanksgiving eve my dad told me I should watch the Laurel & Hardy classic March of the Wooden Soldiers (aka "Babes in Toyland") that was showing on a local channel that night. I remember liking it, but looking back I guess it was a little freaky. I mean, look at these pictures - especially the cat. Yikes.

Freaky pigs, cat, Barnaby, and the monkey in a mouse costume (ok, I actually think the mouse is adorable)

(And since we're on the subject, it was only a few years ago that I realized that the Mickey Mouse character was played by a monkey. All I can say is, I want one.)

Best monkey actor ever

It's not like the movie became a Thanksgiving eve tradition at our house. Even though we recorded it, I don't think I ever watched it again. The reason it sticks with me so much is because I remember how I felt when I watched it: excitement, anticipation, contentment, security. The holiday season was here - which meant time with family, traditions, new memories, and of course, good food.

Which brings me to what I'm thankful for the most this Thanksgiving. Believe me, my gratitude journal is already filled with an abundance of blessings, but I am also very, very grateful for memories.

James M. Barrie wrote, "God gave us memory so that we might have roses in December." As I get older, and all of my family gets more spread out, I become more grateful for the gift of memory that still brings them close to me despite the miles and miles between us. So many amazing holiday memories - my brother, my cousins and me making a tape of us singing Christmas songs; me dropping pumpkin pie down my back (in my defense, I was trying to keep it away from my brother); my grandfather bringing chestnuts to roast; my aunt's macaroni pie; watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade and the National Dog Show (with the entertaining commentary by my family). So many memories - some of them so inconsequential. But so dear to my heart.

Maybe it's because it's the holidays and I'm feeling more generous than usual, but I'm also grateful for the less-than-warm-and-fuzzy recollections that I have - the disappointments, heartbreaks, times of trial and loss, loneliness, uncertainty. I don't think I'm yet the person that says, "I'm so grateful for my trials" (because, let's face it, they suck). But as I look at my life and my past, I am grateful for every single minute. Because as excruciating as some of those moments have been and are, they are proof that I'm living my life - that I'm alive. And what a wonderful life it is.

Happy Thanksgiving, world.

"Mom....Mom....Mom....Happy Birthday!!!"

One evening, my little sister's calling for my mom cracked me up.  All I can say is it resembled this:


(Except minus the laughing and running away once she answered!)

This past weekend we had plenty of opportunities to recreate the scene, as we spent the weekend together celebrating Mom's birthday!  I'm the kind of person who LOVES to celebrate birthdays.  To me, birthdays aren't just about getting older, they're about celebrating the joy that the birthday person brings to the world.  I love to do things that helps the birthday person feel as wonderful and special as they are.  So, what better way to do that then at Disney World! 

Mom wanted to have a special lunch and visit the parks, and we were blessed with a BEAUTIFUL day.  We parked at the Magic Kingdom, then traveled to the Grand Floridian for lunch at the Grand Floridian Cafe.

So fancy, they don't have bottles of condiments on the table

Mom's salad with strawberries and cashews

Gina's Grand Sandwich (ham, turkey, bacon and a boursin cheese sauce on foccacia).

Mom and I both had the Grand Floridian Burger (topped with asparagus, lobster and hollandaise sauce) - for some reason I couldn't get the picture rotated....

 After lunch, we went to play at the Magic Kingdom - first stopping off to get a birthday button for Mom!

Mom with her birthday button!


We had so much fun!  And the birthday gods must have been smiling on us that day, 'cause we hardly had to wait in any lines.  We practically walked on Cinderella's Golden Carousel - which Mom had never been on. (how is that possible?)

Birthday Princess on the carousel!

Me and Gina

We went to Mickey's
Philharmagic next.  It was a good crowd - they clapped and everything.  (Have I mentioned yet in this post how much I love Disney?)

"Roads?  Where we're going we don't need roads!"

We were feeling pretty brave, so we headed over to the Teacups.....

Luckily, we didn't lose our lunches....but we got some great pictures!

(Gina took this shot of me just as the ride was coming to a stop.  I thought it was hilarious.  And hilariously unflattering.  But I think it captures the essence of what a spin on the teacups is like!)

We were ready for a little break, so we went to a little cafe Gina knew about at the Polynesian for some Dole Whip.  And while there, a little family of ducks waddled by.






Then, it was on to Disney's Hollywood Studios to ride the Tower of Terror, just in time before the park closed.

If only I'd bought the picture - Gina's face was uber-cool.

It had been a long day....

And yet, Mom still had the energy to go dancing!  She's amazing!

I pretty much have the greatest mother in the world. :)

Happy Birthday, Mom!!!

I Believe in Love

I am a fan of love.  And since it's Valentine's Day, in the words of Natalie Cole, "I've got love on my mind" - more so than usual, that is.  The problem is, I don't know how to devote an entire post to love without incessantly quoting love songs....or movies....I guess because they all just say it so well.  So, this is my tribute to:

Romantic Love
"Above all things I believe in love.  Love is like oxygen.  Love is a many-splendored thing. Love lifts us up where we belong, all you need is love! ~ Moulin Rouge

"Love doesn't come in a minute.  Sometimes it doesn't come at all.  I only know that when I'm in it, it isn't silly - no, it isn't silly, love isn't silly at all."              ~ Paul McCartney & Wings

"The way you cut a rug, watching you is the only drug I need.  So gangster, I'm so thug, you're the only one I'm dreaming of.  
You see, I can be myself now finally.  In fact, there's nothing I can't be.  I want the world to see you'll be with me...."
 ~ Train

"Fall head over heels. I say find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back.  And how do you find him?  Forget your head and listen to your heart... Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back.  Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this.  To make the journey and not fall deeply in love - well, you haven't lived a life at all.  You have to try.  Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived." ~ Meet Joe Black

As Lumiere once sighed, "Ah, l'amour...."  And for those like me who may not have a romantic love of their own, it's okay - we just haven't met them yet!


"Brotherly" (Family) Love

"Meet Joe Black" is one LOOOOONG movie....but it does have some great quotes.  One in particular really captures the unconditional love among a family.  When asked how he knows if his wife loves him, Jeffrey Tambor's character lovingly explains, "Because she knows the worst thing about me and it's okay."  Even when I feel flawed and inadequate, my family's love is always constant, giving me strength and buoying me up to become better.  Having the love and support of my parents, my siblings, and my extended family is truly one of the most precious gifts I have ever been blessed with.  I am truly thankful for the love of my family.

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”  ~ Dr. Seuss

Friendship Love
"Friends help you when you're in danger, friends are people who are not strangers.  Friends help you shift to a new place, tell you if you've got food on your face."  ~ Flight of the Conchords 

 








"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."  

 

"I get by with a little help from my friends." 

~ The Beatles

Charity - the Pure Love of Christ

"And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.....charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever..."  (The Book of Mormon, Moroni 7:45-47)

Of course the greatest love that has cause for celebration on this holiday that celebrates love is the pure love of Christ.  It is His love that gives power to all other forms of love, and is perfect and eternal.  I love this quote by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland:

"Life has its share of some fear and some failure. Sometimes things fall short, don’t quite measure up. Sometimes in both personal and public life, we are seemingly left without strength to go on.  Sometimes people fail us, or economies and circumstance fail us, and life with its hardship and heartache can leave us feeling very alone.  But when such difficult moments come to us, I testify that there is one thing which will never, ever fail us. One thing alone will stand the test of all time, of all tribulation, all trouble, and all transgression.  One thing only never faileth—and that is the pure love of Christ....I testify that having loved us who are in the world, Christ loves us to the end.  His pure love never fails us.  Not now.  Not ever.  Not ever."  ("He Loved Them Unto the End," Ensign, Nov. 1989, 25.)

"In His Light" by Greg Olsen

I add my testimony to Elder Holland's.  I know that Christ's love is real, perfect, powerful, and true - and it is available every single day of the year, not just on Valentine's Day.  It is my hope that I can learn to love a little bit more like the Savior each day.

And may we continue to celebrate love all year long.