Today is my little sister's birthday. I say "little," but today is actually her TWENTY-FIFTH birthday, so she's actually NOT so little anymore (well, that's not entirely true. She is still "fun-sized", i.e. 4'10", and is petite, and adorable, but she's not freakishly small or anything - like, I can't put her in my pocket like I'm the big baby from "Honey, I Blew Up the Kid" :P). But since she's five-and-a-half years my junior, she'll always be my "little sister" - even when she's the one giving me the advice, comfort and wisdom of someone beyond her years.....
I don't know if she's ever truly allowed herself to believe just how awesome a person she is. Not just awesome, but talented, intelligent, witty, beautiful, courageous, compassionate.....I would run out of words before I could come even remotely close to describing all that she is, and all that she brings to this world simply by being in it.
I'm sure I never told her enough when we were younger just how amazing it was to have her in my life - what can I say, kids are not always the most conscientious about stuff like that. But it was because of her that I became a big sister. I had someone to play with (because I could only force persuade my big brother to play Barbies and house for so many years). Someone to wear matching outfits with. Someone to be my buddy. She was always willing and ecstatic to play with me when all of my "friends" were too busy or forgot about me altogether.
My memories may get foggier over the years, but one sticks out pretty vividly when I think about my sister. I'm not sure how old she was - maybe 3 or 4? I was having a friend sleepover one night, and my mom told Mia that she could stay up with us, and she was so excited. My friend and I went to get ready for bed, or something, and when we came back to the living room to watch our movie, or do whatever it was we had planned to do, there was my little sister, proudly presenting her gift to us - which was on the coffee table. There, she'd set out 3 sandwiches that she'd made all by herself. Ok, so the bread was cinnamon raisin, and she'd piled about a pound of roast beef on each sandwich so that the top slice was barely staying on, but the look on her face was one of pure happiness and delight from being able to surprise us. And it is this sweetnessand fun-loving that she's brought to life through the years with her beautiful smile and bright, smiley eyes.
Sisters & Monkeys
She's always been such a creative, capable, compassionate person. She dreams big, laughs often, and smiles with her whole being. She knows what she likes, what she wants, and she doesn't let herself get deterred by fears or critics. And one of the things about her that I admire most - she loves with her whole heart. She is a true, loyal friend, and will be your biggest supporter. (And if anyone messes with you, she's got your back!)
Buddies
So, happy birthday, my dearest sister!!!! I hope you can recognize all that you've accomplished in the past 25 short years. I hope you can see yourself for all the goodness and light you bring to this world. And most of all, I hope you can cherish yourself and feel how cherished you are by those who know you and love you.
"Keep smiling, keep shining"..... I love you forever!
About a month or so ago, I caught the end of "A Few Good Men" when it was showing on FX. And I have to say, what stood out to me wasn't the "You-can't-handle-the-truth" drama, but the music scoring at the end of the film. I had to IMDB it to find out who the composer was (Marc Shaiman, for those of you who were wondering). What can I say, I'm a soundtrack nerd. I love how composers can create moods and heighten the emotions of a film. It's like they have this gift where they're able to take what a situation or experience feels like, or what a character feels or thinks, and express it musically. It's magic. And brilliance.
On the rare occasion, I can guess who the composer is while listening to the score in the film. I admit it, I'm the one in the group that states, "This score is FANTASTIC!" while watching a totally AMAZING movie. I still appreciate the acting, the direction, the special effects, the cinematography....
But, oh, the SOUNDTRACK!!!
Here are just a few of my favorite composers, and a very brief showcase of their genius.
Michael Giacchino
The man behind Up, The Incredibles, Ratatouille, Star Trek, Lost, MI:4 - Ghost Protocol....just to name a few!
Alan Silvestri
I decided to share this track from The Avengers since it's one of his later works - but I could've also shared Back to the Future, Forrest Gump, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Practical Magic, Night at the Museum......stop me at any time....
Hans Zimmer
There's a lot to choose from among the repertoire of Mr. Zimmer - The Lion King, Rain Man, Days of Thunder, Pirates of the Caribbean 2, 3, & 4, Inception, Gladiator, The Prince of Egypt, As Good As It Gets, A League of Their Own, Christopher Nolan's Batman trilogy, or something from one of the other 149 titles listed on IMDB.com. But one of my all-time favorite scores of his is The Holiday. It's been in my radio alarm clock for the past year.
Patrick Doyle
He may not be as familiar a name as other composers, but in my opinion, Mr. Doyle has created some of the most beautiful scores, including Sense & Sensibility (1995), Mrs Winterbourne, Love's Labour's Lost, Thor, and Brave. This track from Nanny McPhee is overwhelmingly beautiful. Listen to it with your eyes closed.
Rachel Portman
Only You may be one of her lesser-known works, but it's a gem. Other must-listens by Rachel Portman: Benny and Joon, Chocolat, Emma, The Legend of Bagger Vance, Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas.
James Newton Howard
Like Hans Zimmer, J.N. Howard has many, many film scores to his credit (135, according to IMDB.com), including E.R., The Hunger Games, Pretty Woman, The Fugitive, The Sixth Sense, Signs, and Peter Pan (2003). What I love about this track from The Village is how JNH can make the score to a thriller beautiful. (Check out the music around 2:38 - it's ridiculous!!)
Mark Isham
My sister shared this track with me, and I fell in LOVE with this, because....well, it just sounds like love. So now, if I don't hear this in my head when I'm with a date, I'll dump him. (Heehee - name that movie!) Not only has Mark Isham composed such emotionally-powerful pieces for Once Upon a Time, but his credits also include Miracle, The Majestic, Life As a House, October Sky, and Of Mice and Men (1992). Just try to keep your eyes dry. (Oh, yeah, he also did Point Break....)
Thomas Newman
Listening to the Finding Nemo soundtrack, I always feel like I'm floating in the ocean....or flowing in the EAC. That's just the brilliance of Thomas Newman - he somehow melodiously captures very specific atmospheres and moments. Some classic soundtracks of his (besides Nemo) are WALL-E, Meet Joe Black, Phenomenon, The Shawshank Redemption, The Green Mile, Fried Green Tomatoes, and Jumpin' Jack Flash.
John Williams
Known as the "composer of some of the most recognizable themes in the history of film," this post wouldn't be complete without John Williams. Besides the above track from Episode IV (one of my fav pieces - it's gorgeous), this genius' opus also includes the original Harry Potter theme, Indiana Jones, E.T., Home Alone, Hook, Jurassic Park, Schindler's List, Catch Me If You Can....the list of fantastic scores just keeps on going. Referring back to Star Wars - Episode IV, a piece of trivia that I found fascinating, courtesy of IMDB.com:
"George Lucas planned to score the film with existing classical music like Stanley Kubrick had done on "2001: A Space Odyssey" before Steven Spielberg introduced him to composer John Williams. Lucas and Williams agreed on a classical 19th-century Romantic music style with liberal use of leitmotif for the score. Since the movie would show worlds never seen before, the music had to serve as an 'emotional anchor' for the audience to relate."
That's one of the elements of film scores that I love: they can transport us to new worlds, while still keeping us emotionally anchored. Film scores help us to connect and relate to the world we're viewing - whether it's a familiar-looking neighborhood, a well-known city, or "in a galaxy far, far away."
While on my mission, I accumulated a lot of talks-on-CD (missionaries are somewhat limited to what they can listen to, and one can only take so much EFY). One of the talks I acquired was John Bytheway's "What are you carrying in your backpack?" talk. If you ever get a chance, listen to it - even though he's addressing preteens and teenagers, his message can apply to all. One of the things he references is this poem:
"I passed one day through a lonely town And saw men tearing a building down. With a ho-heave-ho and a husky yell, They swung a beam and a side wall fell. I asked the foreman, 'are these men skilled? The kind you'd hire if you had to build?' 'Oh no,' he chuckled, 'no indeed. The common laborer is all I need. Why I can destroy in a day or two What builders have taken weeks to do,'
I thought to myself as I went on my way,
Which of these roles have I tried to play?
Am I a builder who works with care,
Strengthening lives by rule and square.
Shaping my peers to a well-made plan,
Helping them be the best they can?
Or am I a wrecker who walks around
Content with the labor of tearing down?"
--Author Unknown
I try to be a Builder. But it gets hard sometimes, especially when "misery loves company." Have you ever noticed how people almost get mad at you if you don't hop on the bandwagon to their let's-bash-everything-fest? Being a Wrecker certainly seems like the more popular choice. It may not be the "in" thing to be, but I want to be a Builder. It makes the world a prettier place.
A friend of mine shared this video on Facebook. I've watched a few talks on TED.com before that blew my mind - so that fact, along with the title that resonated so deeply with me, intrigued me enough to postpone my bedtime by another 20 minutes so that I could watch it. I think this talk is going to be my new obsession for a while....
Check it out - whether you're profoundly affected as I was, or at the very least entertained, it'll be worth your time.
A week ago, I was asked to speak in church, and I thought it was a subject that may be of some interest to those who couldn't be there....
About a month ago, I was driving in
the car with my sister. We have a pretty long
commute to and from work, but it’s a fun time to be together and to talk. On
this particular night, we somehow got on the subject of talents, and I shared
with my sister how I thought I was adequate at a lot of things, but not
OUTSTANDING at one particular thing - I didn’t feel like there was one thing
that I was “ridiculously talented” at doing. After thinking about it a moment,
my sister offered her thoughts to try to help me recognize the good (because
that’s a talent that’s she’s really good at!):
“Well,
you’re really nurturing.” she told me. I appreciated that she was trying to
make me feel better, but I couldn’t help thinking that I’d rather have a talent
that would make it easier to pay the bills!
That
same weekend, a member of the bishopric asked me to speak in church, and he gave me my
topic: “Developing our talents” and “using them to benefit others.” I thought
Ok, this couldn’t be a coincidence. There must be something the Lord wants me
to learn.
WE’RE
ALL GIVEN TALENTS When I
began searching this topic, of course the first thing that came to mind was the
parable of the entrusted talents that Jesus taught in Matthew 25:
14 ¶For the
kingdom of heaven is as a man travelling into a far country, who
called his own servants, and delivered unto them his goods. 15 And
unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and
to another one; to every man according to his several ability; and straightway
took his journey.
Of the
three servants, the ones who were given 5 and 2 talents each doubled their
talents. But the one who was given only one hid his in the ground b/c he “was
afraid.” When the lord of the servants returned, they each told him what they
had done. To the servants that had doubled their talents, the lord said, 21
...Well done, thou good and faithfulservant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I
will make thee ruler over many things:
enter thou into the joy of thy lord.
But to
the servant that hid his talent, the lord took it away from him and gave it to
the servant that had ten, saying, 29 For
unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall haveabundance: but from him that
hath not shall be taken away even that which
he hath.
What
stood out to me as I’ve re-read this parable, is that the servant of the one
talent hid it out of fear. How many of us have felt like that servant, afraid
to develop our talent - or doubtful if it’s a very good talent to begin with,
and if it really isn’t that great then it might as well be hidden away b/c
nobody wants it anyway.....Or maybe we fear b/c we compare our talents to
others, or we fail to recognize our talent altogether.
In one
of my favorite talks by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, entitled “The OtherProdigal,” he addresses these feelings: Someone or something is forever telling us we need to be
more handsome or more wealthy, more applauded or more admired than we see
ourselves as being.... We are bombarded with the message that on the world’s
scale of things we have been weighed in the balance and found wanting.
A TALENT
FOR SPIRITUALITY Thankfully,
we don’t need to rely on the world’s messages alone. Because of the restored
Gospel of Jesus Christ, we know who we are - each one of us is a beloved son or
daughter of God. And, as Elder Holland has stated, “no
one of us is less treasured or cherished of God than another.”
Eachone of us has been
given talents - just as every servant in the parable was given
talents. How many talents we have doesn’t affect our importance to our Heavenly
Father. He doesn’t compare us to others, He just wants us to develop the gifts
and talents we’ve been given. One talent that each of us has, can help us as we
seek to identify and develop other talents, that is the Talent for
Spirituality. Elder
Bruce R. McConkie once said that this was “above all talents” and “chief among
all endowments.”
We had
this talent as spirits in the pre-earth life, as seen by Abraham in the Pearl
of Great Price: (Abraham 3:22-23) 22 Now
the Lord had shown unto me, Abraham, the intelligences that were organized before the world was; and among all
these there were many of the noble and great ones; 23 And
God saw these souls that they were good, and he stood in the
midst of them, and he said: These I will make my rulers; for he stood among
those that were spirits, and he saw that they were good; and he said unto me:
Abraham, thou art one of them; thou wast chosen before thou wast born.
Each one
of those souls [each one of us] that Abraham saw that were ‘good’ chose to
follow our Heavenly Father and His Plan of Happiness for us by coming to earth
and receiving a body. This talent for spirituality has remained with us - it is
the reason why we’re here today. It enables us to recognize truth, and listen
to and follow the Spirit of the Lord.
WHAT
TALENTS SHOULD WE DEVELOP Although
this Talent for Spirituality can help us follow Moroni’s admonition to “lay hold upon every
good gift” (Moroni 10:30), I
confess I still sometimes struggle identifying talents that I have, or knowing what
talents I should work on developing.
In
thinking about what talents I should develop, I started thinking about the many
different talents that I’ve observed in the people in my life.But
as I was thinking about all of the people in my life, I thought of One that is
the most talented - Christ. And as I was pondering Christ’s talents, charity
came to mind.
[In
Moroni 7, Mormon teaches us about this gift - 45 And charity suffereth long, and
is kind, and envieth not, and is not
puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil,
and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things,
believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 46
Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for
charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of
all, for all things must fail— 47 But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it
endurethforever; and whoso is found possessed
of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.]
I was
surprised to find that “Charity” - the pure love of Christ - is often referred
to in the scriptures as a “talent.” I don’t know about you, but I haven’t seen
anybody win “America’s Got Talent” because of their talent for having charity
towards others. (Actually, to be honest I’ve never even watched “America’s Got
Talent.”) But when I think about the quality I most admire in the Savior and
others in my life, and the talent that they’ve shared that’s blessed my life
the most, it’s charity.
The
Bible Dictionary defines charity as: The highest, noblest,
strongest kind of love, not merely affection; the pure love of Christ. It is
never used to denote alms or deeds of benevolence, although it may be a prompting
motive Along
with being one of the most important gifts we can possess, Charity is also
important as the motivation behind how we use our other talents - and
how we use them to benefit others.
But
going back to considering Christ’s talents, it makes sense to me why I didn’t
instantly think “Charity” when thinking about “talents” -- it’s not something
the world places much focus on -- it certainly wasn’t during Christ’s time, as
Nephi writes in the Book of Mormon:
9 And the
world, because of their iniquity, shall judge him to be a thing of naught;
wherefore they scourge him, and he suffereth it; and they smite him, and he
suffereth it. Yea, they spit upon him, and he
suffereth it, because of his loving kindness and his long-suffering towards the
children of men. (1 Ne. 19:9)
As we
seek to develop our talent of charity - and other skills and attributes - we
can’t get discouraged if the world isn’t lining up to shower us with awards or
recognition. As Nephi tells us, 7 For the
things which some men esteem to be of great worth, both to the body and soul,
others set at naught and trample under
their feet. Yea, even the very God of Israel do men trample under their feet; (1
Ne. 19:7)
Christ’s
talents weren’t recognized by everyone during his lifetime, yet he continued to
do the work His Father sent Him to do.
Each of
us has work that we were sent here to do - and that includes developing our
talents. Along with the talents we brought with us to this life from the
pre-existence, this life is the time to develop other talents. Some
talents seem to be innate, while others take considerable effort and learning.
As this life is a “probationary state; a time to prepare to meet God,” it
is the time to allow the Spirit - through our Talent for Spirituality - to
guide us as we try to develop different talents.
SEEK
EARNESTLY THE BEST GIFTS In the
scriptures we are commanded to “seek ye earnestly the best gifts,” remembering
that “every good gift cometh of Christ.”
Once we
have found those good gifts and desire to pursue them, we are not alone in the
development of them - the Lord will help us. President
Henry B. Eyring, in his talk from 2009, “Real-Life Education,” states, The Lord and His Church have always encouraged education to
increase our ability to serve Him and our Heavenly Father’s children. For each
of us, whatever our talents, He has service for us to give. And to do it well
always involves learning, not once or for a limited time, but continually. Through prayer, fasting, and hard work, with a motive to
serve Him, we can expect His grace to attend us.
HOW DO
WE DEVELOP TALENTS Heavenly
Father wants to bless us with talents or gifts, so that we can bless others,
but we need to ASK. In the Doctrine & Covenants it states, “Ye are
commanded in all things to ask of God, who giveth liberally.”
And as
we humbly ask and rely on the Lord to help us grow and improve in
our talents, we will see in our lives the help He promises in the Book ofMormon: 27 And if
men come unto me I will show unto them theirweakness. I give unto men weakness
that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all
men that humble themselves before me;
for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make
weak things become strong
unto them.
Although
we may get discouraged, or feel that our talents aren’t good enough or
worthwhile, we need to remember the prophet Alma’s words in the Book of Mormon: "that by small and simple things are
great things brought to pass"
We also
can’t allow ourselves to get caught up in focusing on the talents we haven’t
been given, or the number of talents we have. While there
are many gifts of the Spirit, as listed in section 46 of the Doctrine &
Covenants, the Lord tells us, For
all have not every gift given unto them; for
there are many gifts, and to every man is given a gift by the Spirit of God. To
some is given one, and to some is given another, that all may be profited
thereby. Like
the servant in the parable, we cannot fear - we can’t waste the ONE talent
we’ve been given just because we don’t have FIVE. As the
Lord tells us in D&C 64:33: 33
Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are
laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth
that which is great.
Of the
Parable of the Talents, the prophet Joseph Smith taught, “When the Master in
the Savior’s parable of the stewards called his servants before him he gave
them several talents to improve on while he should tarry abroad for a little
season, and when he returned he called for an accounting. So it is now, Our
Master is absent only for a little season, and at the end of it He will call
each to render an account; and where the 5 talents were bestowed, ten will be
required; and he that has made no improvement will be cast out as an
unprofitable servant, while the faithful enjoy everlasting honors.”
President
James E. Faust, in a talk from 2002 (“I Believe I Can, I Knew I Could”) echoed
the Prophet Joseph’s words: The Lord entrusts all of His servants... with spiritual
talents. The Lord, who endows us with these talents, tells us: “I believe you
can. I believe you can.” While we are not all equal in experience, aptitude,
and strength, we have different opportunities to employ these spiritual gifts,
and we will all be accountable for the use of the gifts and opportunities given
to us.
Heavenly
Father has blessed each one of us with talents. The number of talents we have
makes no difference to Him, and He doesn’t compare our talents to the talents
of others. His desire is that we take those gifts that we’ve been blessed with,
those talents that are uniquely our own, and become our very best. It is only
then that our talents can truly benefit and bless the lives of others.
(Not to be confused with the contest my sister won to meet the cast of "Awkward"....)
So, the other day I was headed into work and I decided to take a shortcut to check in for my shift. I thought I knew the way to go, but somehow I ended up in the wrong break room and came face to face with...a group of hunky men. Let's just say they are in very good shape. And do some pretty cool stunts.
"Hey!" one of them greeted me, "Come on in!" I knew he was just humoring the Poor Dweeby Lost Girl who obviously was in the wrong place. I could feel my awkwardness diffusing through the air.
"Sorry, " I said. "I'm lost..." and I proceeded to tell them what I thought this place was - the place I was looking for.
"Nope," said the friendly stunt guy. "This isn't it."
I wanted to beeline out of there as fast as I could but I couldn't resist. So, before turning around and leaving I said, "Nope, it sure isn't - it's better looking!"
Recently, my mom got a stack of books out of the library all about finding a man. "Why Men Marry Certain Women and Not Others," "Getting the Love You Want," stuff like that. Let me tell you, dating is a weird and wacky thing by itself - but it's even weirder when your parents are divorced and mom and pop are out there dating other people, too. I have a hard time with those dating books. Sometimes I feel like they make me MORE nervous/neurotic/awkward because instead of just being myself around guys, I get all stressed trying to remember all of the "tips and tricks" listed in these "helpful" books.
I did read some from one of the books she got - "Women Have All the Power....Too Bad They Don't Know It." In the book that the author, Michael J. Lockwood, wrote specifically for his teenage daughters, he gives a lot of advice - much of it common sense, in my opinion - and speaks from the male point of view. While I only got 1/3 of the way through it (it made me anxious trying to remember all the ways to properly use my "power"), one of the things he said really stuck with me, so I made a note of it on my phone. In one chapter he wrote, "better alone than poorly accompanied." And that really hit me.
I wasn't the kind of girl that did a lot of dating in high school. Actually, I did almost no dating in high school. I think I can count on one hand the amount of dates I went on before I went to college (and not much changed when I got there, either). And for a girl that grew up eating and drinking movie musicals (where life doesn't really begin until you've got a gorgeous baritone chasing your down), life was pretty lonely as opportunities to date seemed to get lost in the mail.
In the years that have followed, I've had opportunities to date. Sometimes it's quality, sometimes just quantity (as in, "well, at least I have a date...."). And I fully understand that a girl has to date a lot of frogs before she finds her prince. But lately I've begun to understand what the author meant when he stressed, "better alone than poorly accompanied." There are times when it's definitely better (and more enjoyable, I might add) to be by yourself than out with a man. Especially if he makes you feel like you're less than you are.
I wish this concept had sunk in when I was 19. Or 22. Or 27. I may have been able to spare myself some frustration and heartache. Or maybe the true way to reach this conclusion is by going on all those awful dates and being in the bad relationships, so that you eventually (sooner, rather than later!) come to realize, "hey, I'm not bad company, but this guy is."
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm all for giving a date the benefit of the doubt (as I'd want him to give to me), and focusing on a guy's strengths rather than dwelling on his weaknesses. I sometimes feel like my whole life is one big awkward moment, so I'm totally up for cutting a guy some slack. But there are certain traits that I feel fall under the "poorly accompanied" category - if he belittles you, manipulates you, uses you, disrespects you, criticizes you, or abuses you in any way. In any of these cases, I feel that there is nothing shameful about staying home with the TV and a bowl of ice cream - or going shopping - or going to the gym - or getting groceries - or organizing your closet - or paying bills - or "dancing it out" in your living room - or taking a bubble bath - or doing anything that you enjoy, a healthy activity that makes you feel good - instead of going out on a date with a less than desirable lad.
The world is really good at telling us what makes us successful, and what gives us worth. It even sometimes tells us that if we aren't going out on a lot of dates, or in a relationship, or being pursued by members of the opposite sex 24/7, then we are L-O-S-E-R-S. But I've seen a lot of unhappy people who date quite a bit, or are in a relationship. I've been there myself. I've felt so lonely that I figure any guy is better than no guy. But you know those things they tell you you'll learn as you get older? Well, one of them is realizing that you're pretty darn great just the way you are, even if you're all on your own.
I never watched "Sex and the City," but thanks to Pinterest, I've found a lot of great quotes, including this one from that show --
"...the most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all is the one you have is with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous."
So, don't worry -- the Right One will come along. And he'll be worth waiting for. And we'll probably have to go on a lot more dates until we find him. But until then, don't overlook or sacrifice the amazingness that you are just to be with somebody. Remember, better alone than poorly accompanied.
