and that I was great and special just the way I was, yet I often find myself sucked into the world's obsession with "the perfect size." The funny thing is, even though the control freak within me wants to believe that tragedy and heartbreak will leave me alone if I look a certain way, it's ultimately a fallacy. As I look back over the years, experience has taught me that happiness and bliss come at any size. To illustrate my point,
this was me at one of my "heaviest" times, after getting home from my mission (ahhh, good times with my sisters!)
and here I am at some of my "tiniest" times:
Same girl, different sizes. To be honest, "I love myself" a little bit more when there's less of me to love, and during the times of bigger jean sizes (like as of late), I tend to believe that others may feel the same way. But regardless of how I feel, there is one very cool fact - there are people in my life who love me no matter what and regardless of how I look, because the relationships we have are based on things that go deeper than what's on the surface. That's one of the amazing things about life - the real connections we can make with others, and the close relationships that can be formed. But it requires jumping in with both feet - letting others see you at your "worst," revealing that (*gasp!*) you aren't, in fact, perfect, and allowing yourself to be vulnerable. It's completely terrifying. And completely wonderful. Because when you find those kindred spirits who love you (to quote "Bridget Jones' Diary") "just as you are," it is one of the most freeing and incredible experiences in life.And so, I will continue to jump in with both feet - bigger jeans and all.
Love the post! Keep it up! I love your writing and I LOVE YOU!!!! Always!!!
ReplyDeletemy friends keep telling me about those guys in your video. i don't know if they have a series or what, but i guess in one of them, someone says, "i need to go to the bathroom. does anyone want to come with me?" and another replies, "i could pee a little" to be supportive. that's the running joke with my a cappella group lol.
ReplyDeletealso, my dear, you look great. what the larger jean sizes? you don't look any different than how i've seen you in the past!