Ordinary greatness & remembering Grandpa

An all-day all-night headache, plus having to get up for work at 4:30am doesn't leave a lot of time for sleeping...but it leaves lots of time for thinking. With the annoyingly persistent throbbing of my head, and the fear of sleeping through my alarm and missing my shift (as I thought I had done yesterday morning until I realized that I had my schedule wrong and my early morning shift is actually THIS morning. I tell you, nothing gets you shaking in your jammies faster than the thought of "I am an HOUR LATE FOR WORK!!!"), it's hard to divert my thoughts. But in the wee small hours of the morning, amidst the pain & anxiety, my mind eventually made it's way to a more pleasant, yet bittersweet thought. 

Today, December 7th, would have been my Grandpa Red's 93rd birthday. He passed away suddenly about seven years ago, and while I miss him throughout the year, it is always at the holiday time that I miss him especially.

Recently, I've been obsessing over reading the works of Brene Brown, and one of the topics she writes about is "Celebrating the Ordinary and Uncool." In her book, "I Thought It Was Just Me," Dr. Brown writes, 

"In our culture, the fear and shame of being ordinary is very real...We seem to measure the value of people's contributions (and sometimes their entire lives) by their level of public recognition. In other words, worth is measured by fame and fortune.
"Our culture is quick to dismiss quiet, ordinary, hardworking men and women. In many instances, we equate ordinary with boring or, even more dangerous, ordinary has become synonymous with meaningless."

My grandfather was proof that an "ordinary" life is NOT boring, and definitely NOT meaningless. In his quiet way, he taught me what's most important in life, and what is the most meaningful. Yet in the world's measure of greatness by how many recognitions, awards, and "Likes" we get on Facebook, my grandfather wouldn't have made the cut.  If he were alive today, how many "Likes" would my grandpa's posts have gotten on Facebook? Probably not very many (assuming he could figure out how to navigate Facebook. He had to have my dad come to "color code" how to use a CD player - which I think is totally fine, btw). However my grandpa was one of the greatest men I'll ever know.

As I think back over all of the simple, ordinary memories I have with him, they are among the ones that mean the most to me in my life: 

• Taking me shopping for Christmases and birthdays. No matter how old I got, he would always ask me if I wanted to go shopping to pick out my gifts. And he was so patient as I meandered from store to store. It is a very patient man that will not only go shopping with a woman, but suggest they go shopping. Our shopping trips would always include a lunch date, too. The lunches were never fancy, but to this day, our dates to McDonald's and Friendly's go down in history as some of my favorite dining-out memories.

• Greeting cards. During one of our shopping trips, I remember stopping in a greeting card shop so that he could pick out a card for someone. We must've spent half an hour and he intently searched, read and deliberated over a card that expressed exactly what was in his heart. Throughout my life I had received dozens of cards from him, and the only thing he ever wrote in them was "Love, Grandpa" with lots of X's and O's. But that day in the card shop I realized that the words provided by the greeting card company weren't just generic words to my grandfather - they were exactly what he wanted to express. After he died,  I remember looking through a scrapbook of all of the cards he'd given to my grandmother - from their courtship, throughout their marriage. Cards that were faded and wearing with age, however to look through them and re-read them was to witness their timeless love.

• Laughing at "Home Alone." No matter how many times he watched it, Grandpa would laugh so hard at the slapstick humor. Every time I watch it, I am reminded of him (and the joy from the simple humor of watching someone get a paint can in the face).

• The Baby Whisperer. My grandfather loved babies - he loved to hold them and walk with them. I think he's the source of the "Baby Whisperer" genes that occasionally show up in my family. Something about the way he walked them would calm them and put them to sleep. Seeing how loving my grandpa was with babies made me wish that I was a 19 year old bride - just so that my babies could've been walked to sleep by him. 

Just so many warm memories....spending time with him after my parents separated, watching him tearfully kiss my grandmother's forehead to say goodbye when she passed away, witnessing how much he loved family and loved life.

My grandfather was one of those people that I knew loved me just because. Not for anything I did or earned, but just because I was his granddaughter. I never had to accomplish any great feat to earn his love - no matter what, I knew that he loved me and was proud of me, as he was of all of his grandchildren and his family. 

Since it's Christmastime, the Muppet Christmas Carol is in my head and playing on my iPod (as usual). One of the songs in the film include these lyrics: 

The love we found we carry with us, so we're never quite alone.

Whenever life gets me down, or feels like it's at its darkest, my grandfather's love is something that I carry with me, helping me to feel that I'm not alone. 

There's another song from that movie that goes, "and if you need to know the measure of a man, you simply count his friends." I don't think the lyrics are referring to the "Friends" on Facebook or in your Google Plus circles, or your networks on Linkedin. It's not people that you haven't spoken to in years, but true friends - people who know the real you, and love and respect you for it. And these "friends" can include those you're related to - your family. By this standard, my grandfather was one of the greatest men I'll ever know. His sweet, meaningful, ordinary life is one that I hope to emulate, that I can leave as loving a legacy as he has left behind.

Happy birthday, Grandpa. I miss you. 

   

   

Thankful

I don't remember how old I was, or when it was exactly, but one Thanksgiving eve my dad told me I should watch the Laurel & Hardy classic March of the Wooden Soldiers (aka "Babes in Toyland") that was showing on a local channel that night. I remember liking it, but looking back I guess it was a little freaky. I mean, look at these pictures - especially the cat. Yikes.

Freaky pigs, cat, Barnaby, and the monkey in a mouse costume (ok, I actually think the mouse is adorable)

(And since we're on the subject, it was only a few years ago that I realized that the Mickey Mouse character was played by a monkey. All I can say is, I want one.)

Best monkey actor ever

It's not like the movie became a Thanksgiving eve tradition at our house. Even though we recorded it, I don't think I ever watched it again. The reason it sticks with me so much is because I remember how I felt when I watched it: excitement, anticipation, contentment, security. The holiday season was here - which meant time with family, traditions, new memories, and of course, good food.

Which brings me to what I'm thankful for the most this Thanksgiving. Believe me, my gratitude journal is already filled with an abundance of blessings, but I am also very, very grateful for memories.

James M. Barrie wrote, "God gave us memory so that we might have roses in December." As I get older, and all of my family gets more spread out, I become more grateful for the gift of memory that still brings them close to me despite the miles and miles between us. So many amazing holiday memories - my brother, my cousins and me making a tape of us singing Christmas songs; me dropping pumpkin pie down my back (in my defense, I was trying to keep it away from my brother); my grandfather bringing chestnuts to roast; my aunt's macaroni pie; watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade and the National Dog Show (with the entertaining commentary by my family). So many memories - some of them so inconsequential. But so dear to my heart.

Maybe it's because it's the holidays and I'm feeling more generous than usual, but I'm also grateful for the less-than-warm-and-fuzzy recollections that I have - the disappointments, heartbreaks, times of trial and loss, loneliness, uncertainty. I don't think I'm yet the person that says, "I'm so grateful for my trials" (because, let's face it, they suck). But as I look at my life and my past, I am grateful for every single minute. Because as excruciating as some of those moments have been and are, they are proof that I'm living my life - that I'm alive. And what a wonderful life it is.

Happy Thanksgiving, world.

Bless Us All

I love the Holiday season, especially Christmas. I always have. Although I'm 30 years old, my dad still loves to tell stories about the 5-year-old (and younger) me that used to be up ALL NIGHT LONG on Christmas Eve, waiting for Christmas morning with all of the excited of a bumblebee on multiple amphetamines. As I got older, I would begin my holiday planning and shopping before most of my other family members - I don't remember when exactly I first uttered the phrase "It's never too early," in regards to getting in the holiday spirit, but I definitely wasn't even a teenager yet. And this excitement for the holiday season hasn't waned with the years.

***Yet-another-one-of-Adele's-Disclaimers: When I say "It's never too early," I am not saying put your Christmas tree up in September. Or play Christmas carols in August (although I have had to bust out *NSYNC's "O Holy Night" in July before. But that's because IT'S JUST THAT GOOD). I just find it works for me to start considering people's Christmas presents in the the fall, or to start listening to Christmas music and watching Holiday movies when Halloween's over (because, really, there are so many great Christmas songs and films, I don't have the time to fully appreciate them in the short span of Black Friday-Christmas Day). 

So while some people might have had a problem starting to Celebrate the Season in October, well, although I had to make sure I got in plenty of viewing time of "Garfield's Halloween Adventure," "It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown," "Double Double Toil and Trouble," and "Hocus Pocus," I was really OK with it. And it may only be the beginning of November, but I am not ashamed to admit that I've already broken the seal and watched Christmas movies. 

This afternoon, I put on a Christmas classic - The Muppet Christmas Carol, and one of the songs stood out to me especially (maybe because it's the Sabbath, and I've been trying to think on the Savior today in general). "Bless Us All" was one of those numbers I used to fast-forward through when I was younger (I regret to say), but I think that's because I didn't take the time to listen to the words.....

Life is full of sweet surprises
Every day's a gift
The sun comes up and i can feel it lift my spirit
Fills me up with laughter, fills me up with song
I look into the eyes of love and know that i belong

Bless us all, who gather here
The loving family i hold dear
No place on earth, compares with home
And every path will bring me back from where i rome
Bless us all, that as we live
We always comfort and forgive
We have so much, that we can share
With those in need we see around us everywhere

Let us always love each other 
Lead us to the light
Let us hear the voice of reason, singing in the night
Let us run from anger and catch us when we fall
Teach us in our dreams and please, yes please
Bless us one and all 

Bless us all with playful years 
With noisy games and joyful tears
We reach for you and we stand tall 
And in our prayers and dreams
We ask you bless us all

We reach for you and we stand tall 
And in our prayers and dreams we ask you 
Bless us all

(Oh, Paul Williams, you are a poet....)

In describing this song, someone once said, "It's like a prayer." That it is. And one of the parts that affects me the most is the line, "We reach for you, and we stand tall. And in our prayers and dreams we ask you, bless us all." How true. When we reach for Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ - whether in our thoughts, in our prayers, in our kindness towards others - we cannot help but stand taller. They lift us above our own imperfections, anxieties, shortcomings, fears, and limitations, to a life that's filled with light, joy, hope, and love - a truly abundant life. 

That's one of the things I love about the Christmas season - this beautiful little reminder.

Just a little buddy tribute

Today is my little sister's birthday. I say "little," but today is actually her TWENTY-FIFTH birthday, so she's actually NOT so little anymore (well, that's not entirely true. She is still "fun-sized", i.e. 4'10", and is petite, and adorable, but she's not freakishly small or anything - like, I can't put her in my pocket like I'm the big baby from "Honey, I Blew Up the Kid" :P). But since she's five-and-a-half years my junior, she'll always be my "little sister" - even when she's the one giving me the advice, comfort and wisdom of someone beyond her years.....

I don't know if she's ever truly allowed herself to believe just how awesome a person she is. Not just awesome, but talented, intelligent, witty, beautiful, courageous, compassionate.....I would run out of words before I could come even remotely close to describing all that she is, and all that she brings to this world simply by being in it.

I'm sure I never told her enough when we were younger just how amazing it was to have her in my life - what can I say, kids are not always the most conscientious about stuff like that. But it was because of her that I became a big sister. I had someone to play with (because I could only force persuade my big brother to play Barbies and house for so many years). Someone to wear matching outfits with. Someone to be my buddy. She was always willing and ecstatic to play with me when all of my "friends" were too busy or forgot about me altogether.

My memories may get foggier over the years, but one sticks out pretty vividly when I think about my sister. I'm not sure how old she was - maybe 3 or 4? I was having a friend sleepover one night, and my mom told Mia that she could stay up with us, and she was so excited. My friend and I went to get ready for bed, or something, and when we came back to the living room to watch our movie, or do whatever it was we had planned to do, there was my little sister, proudly presenting her gift to us - which was on the coffee table. There, she'd set out 3 sandwiches that she'd made all by herself. Ok, so the bread was cinnamon raisin, and she'd piled about a pound of roast beef on each sandwich so that the top slice was barely staying on, but the look on her face was one of pure happiness and delight from being able to surprise us. And it is this sweetness and fun-loving that she's brought to life through the years with her beautiful smile and bright, smiley eyes.

Sisters & Monkeys

She's always been such a creative, capable, compassionate person. She dreams big, laughs often, and smiles with her whole being. She knows what she likes, what she wants, and she doesn't let herself get deterred by fears or critics. And one of the things about her that I admire most - she loves with her whole heart. She is a true, loyal friend, and will be your biggest supporter. (And if anyone messes with you, she's got your back!)

Buddies

So, happy birthday, my dearest sister!!!! I hope you can recognize all that you've accomplished in the past 25 short years. I hope you can see yourself for all the goodness and light you bring to this world. And most of all, I hope you can cherish yourself and feel how cherished you are by those who know you and love you.

"Keep smiling, keep shining"..... I love you forever!

Soundtrack Nerd

About a month or so ago, I caught the end of "A Few Good Men" when it was showing on FX. And I have to say, what stood out to me wasn't the "You-can't-handle-the-truth" drama, but the music scoring at the end of the film. I had to IMDB it to find out who the composer was (Marc Shaiman, for those of you who were wondering). What can I say, I'm a soundtrack nerd. I love how composers can create moods and heighten the emotions of a film. It's like they have this gift where they're able to take what a situation or experience feels like, or what a character feels or thinks, and express it musically.  

It's magic.

And brilliance.

On the rare occasion, I can guess who the composer is while listening to the score in the film. I admit it, I'm the one in the group that states, "This score is FANTASTIC!" while watching a totally AMAZING movie. I still appreciate the acting, the direction, the special effects, the cinematography....

But, oh, the SOUNDTRACK!!!

Here are just a few of my favorite composers, and a very brief showcase of their genius.


Michael Giacchino



The man behind Up, The Incredibles, Ratatouille, Star Trek, Lost, MI:4 - Ghost Protocol....just to name a few!

Alan Silvestri



I decided to share this track from The Avengers since it's one of his later works - but I could've also shared Back to the Future, Forrest Gump, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Practical Magic, Night at the Museum......stop me at any time....

Hans Zimmer



There's a lot to choose from among the repertoire of Mr. Zimmer - The Lion King, Rain Man, Days of Thunder, Pirates of the Caribbean 2, 3, & 4, Inception, Gladiator, The Prince of Egypt, As Good As It Gets, A League of Their Own, Christopher Nolan's Batman trilogy, or something from one of the other 149 titles listed on IMDB.com. But one of my all-time favorite scores of his is The Holiday. It's been in my radio alarm clock for the past year.

Patrick Doyle



He may not be as familiar a name as other composers, but in my opinion, Mr. Doyle has created some of the most beautiful scores, including Sense & Sensibility (1995), Mrs Winterbourne, Love's Labour's Lost, Thor, and Brave. This track from Nanny McPhee is overwhelmingly beautiful. Listen to it with your eyes closed.

Rachel Portman



Only You may be one of her lesser-known works, but it's a gem. Other must-listens by Rachel Portman: Benny and Joon, Chocolat, Emma, The Legend of Bagger Vance, Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas.

James Newton Howard



Like Hans Zimmer, J.N. Howard has many, many film scores to his credit (135, according to IMDB.com), including E.R., The Hunger Games, Pretty Woman, The Fugitive, The Sixth Sense, Signs, and Peter Pan (2003). What I love about this track from The Village is how JNH can make the score to a thriller beautiful.  (Check out the music around 2:38 - it's ridiculous!!)

Mark Isham



My sister shared this track with me, and I fell in LOVE with this, because....well, it just sounds like love. So now, if I don't hear this in my head when I'm with a date, I'll dump him. (Heehee - name that movie!) Not only has Mark Isham composed such emotionally-powerful pieces for Once Upon a Time, but his credits also include Miracle, The Majestic, Life As a House, October Sky, and Of Mice and Men (1992). Just try to keep your eyes dry. (Oh, yeah, he also did Point Break....)


Thomas Newman



Listening to the Finding Nemo soundtrack, I always feel like I'm floating in the ocean....or flowing in the EAC. That's just the brilliance of Thomas Newman - he somehow melodiously captures very specific atmospheres and moments. Some classic soundtracks of his (besides Nemo) are WALL-E, Meet Joe Black, Phenomenon, The Shawshank Redemption, The Green Mile, Fried Green Tomatoes, and Jumpin' Jack Flash.

John Williams 



Known as the "composer of some of the most recognizable themes in the history of film," this post wouldn't be complete without John Williams. Besides the above track from Episode IV (one of my fav pieces - it's gorgeous), this genius' opus also includes the original Harry Potter theme, Indiana Jones, E.T., Home Alone, Hook, Jurassic Park, Schindler's List, Catch Me If You Can....the list of fantastic scores just keeps on going.   Referring back to Star Wars - Episode IV, a piece of trivia that I found fascinating, courtesy of IMDB.com:

"George Lucas planned to score the film with existing classical music like Stanley Kubrick had done on "2001: A Space Odyssey" before Steven Spielberg introduced him to composer John Williams. Lucas and Williams agreed on a classical 19th-century Romantic music style with liberal use of leitmotif for the score. Since the movie would show worlds never seen before, the music had to serve as an 'emotional anchor' for the audience to relate."

That's one of the elements of film scores that I love: they can transport us to new worlds, while still keeping us emotionally anchored. Film scores help us to connect and relate to the world we're viewing - whether it's a familiar-looking neighborhood, a well-known city, or "in a galaxy far, far away."

A builder or a wrecker?

While on my mission, I accumulated a lot of talks-on-CD (missionaries are somewhat limited to what they can listen to, and one can only take so much EFY). One of the talks I acquired was John Bytheway's "What are you carrying in your backpack?" talk. If you ever get a chance, listen to it - even though he's addressing preteens and teenagers, his message can apply to all. One of the things he references is this poem:

"I passed one day through a lonely town
And saw men tearing a building down.
With a ho-heave-ho and a husky yell,
They swung a beam and a side wall fell.
I asked the foreman, 'are these men skilled?
The kind you'd hire if you had to build?'
'Oh no,' he chuckled, 'no indeed.
The common laborer is all I need.
Why I can destroy in a day or two
What builders have taken weeks to do,'

I thought to myself as I went on my way,
Which of these roles have I tried to play?
Am I a builder who works with care,
Strengthening lives by rule and square.
Shaping my peers to a well-made plan,
Helping them be the best they can?
Or am I a wrecker who walks around
Content with the labor of tearing down?"
--Author Unknown

I try to be a Builder. But it gets hard sometimes, especially when "misery loves company." Have you ever noticed how people almost get mad at you if you don't hop on the bandwagon to their let's-bash-everything-fest? Being a Wrecker certainly seems like the more popular choice. 




It may not be the "in" thing to be, but I want to be a Builder. It makes the world a prettier place.

jarviedigital.com

The Power of Vulnerability

A friend of mine shared this video on Facebook. I've watched a few talks on TED.com before that blew my mind - so that fact, along with the title that resonated so deeply with me, intrigued me enough to postpone my bedtime by another 20 minutes so that I could watch it. I think this talk is going to be my new obsession for a while....

Check it out - whether you're profoundly affected as I was, or at the very least entertained, it'll be worth your time.